I'm in a bad mood today. I'm so sick of people coming to me with their stupid damn problems and arrogant bitching but not even giving a crap when it comes to my problems. Gee my husband is leaving for 7 months next week I wonder why I'm sad I wonder why I'm cranky. But do any of my so called friends give a crap ... no. I am so sick of being there for other people and then it's like oh sorry when it's me that has a problem. Lately I have been alot more honest with people and alot more yeah wow what a great big problem you have. And if people don't like it then screw it. I can't be strong or supportive for anyone else but my kids and my husband right now. I just don't have it. I'm frustrated and it's not even this deployment that has me frustrated it's all this uncertinty surrounding everything. Matt's crosstraining right after and possibly switching branches and it's all just so overwhelming. Then knowing I have to be wholely responsible for ash's upbringing is really a tremendous pressure. I don't know if I did good with Zach I have no idea. I mean he's a 4 year old who's not yet potty trained I feel like somehow I did something wrong. Now to have to do it with Ash I feel like I might somehow screw it up. I don't feel capable to do it. But this is all just whiney bitching. My best friend doesn't even respond to my posts on the board so that should tell me somthing. Either she doesn't care or I just need to get over it.