Howdy :) Today was a pretty good day :) Thanks for all the suggestions! I really appreciate it!
Today Nikki came by and dropped off some pilates video's for me. Flat abs here I come...LOL. Then Amanda stopped by with Nathanial. He is so damn cuddley!!!! I'm babisitting him tommorrow. Ash and him were so cute together! She keep rubbing his head and they were cuddling together it was adorable!!
I have my first spousal support meeting on Friday. OMG I'm so nervous!!! I don't know why but I am. Just stomach in knots nervous. A room full of people I don't know and have never met is just like OMG!! It's silly I know but I get so nervous and I feel like everyone is sitting there just thinking what a big dork I am. I"m about as socially ignorant as you can get....LOL
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
First adn foremost THANK YOU MELLY!! I LOVE MY NEW BLOG SKIN!!! THANKS SO MUCH! Just so you all know....I have no idea what I'm doing when ti comes to blogging. So my friend Melly reskined the blog and made it look all purdy and now it's perfect! I LOVE IT!!
Not much is going on today. I played a rousing game of hungry hungry hippo with my son. My daughter tried to play too but she gave up quickly and went to go play with his cars...LOL.
Something really sad happened last night. My son normally goes to bed quite early. Well last night as I was heading to bed I hear really soft crying coming from my sons room. I opened his door and he was on his bed holding a picture book I made him from the last time matt was gone. It's filled of pictures of his daddy. He was looking at this one picture and just crying. Just sitting there by himself quietly crying. He said he didn't want to wake me up but he just was missing daddy. It was abou tthe saddest thing I've seen in a long time. How do you help a 4 year old understand deployments?? We talked with him before hand but he just didn't quite get it. My heart is breaking for him!
Not much is going on today. I played a rousing game of hungry hungry hippo with my son. My daughter tried to play too but she gave up quickly and went to go play with his cars...LOL.
Something really sad happened last night. My son normally goes to bed quite early. Well last night as I was heading to bed I hear really soft crying coming from my sons room. I opened his door and he was on his bed holding a picture book I made him from the last time matt was gone. It's filled of pictures of his daddy. He was looking at this one picture and just crying. Just sitting there by himself quietly crying. He said he didn't want to wake me up but he just was missing daddy. It was abou tthe saddest thing I've seen in a long time. How do you help a 4 year old understand deployments?? We talked with him before hand but he just didn't quite get it. My heart is breaking for him!
Hey guys and gals :)
I'm in a really good mood today. And that is mostly due to Miss Karen sending me people!! I really appreciate all the well wishes and kind words!! It really really helps hearing people say positive things and it's such a nice surprise to come to you're blog and see all these wonderful comments!! Thank you all so much!!!
Today is a nice day for a change I might take the rugrats for a walk. I have that bet to win you know...LOL. It's really taking some getting used to this humidity. Arizona was so dry and it's so humid here it's like night and day.
Yesterday night was just full of happy surprises. Matt's still in the states doing training and the training doesn't start until tommorrow so we've been able to IM and whatnot well last night Matt IM's me and guess what....He had his webcam set up!!! Yea!! I got to see my guy!!! It was so wonderful to see his face and see his reactions to things I type and all that. It was just great! I also had to see myself on webcam for the first time and YIPES I hate that thing...LOL. I tried to make it face the desk but he insisted on me facing it towards me. I gotta say it's going to take some time to get used to being on cam like that...LOL. If I were to ever go on a tv show I'd be like that brady bunch kid and freezeup...lol.
I also think I made a new friend last ngiht. A girl here in town that is on a couple boards I am, IMed me to see how I was doing. We ended up talking for a while and we have SOO much in commen. It was really neat. Hopefully if weather permits we are going to be going for a walk tommorrow with out kiddies :)
I also have been talking to Robin alot and that has helped me out more then anything else. She is in almost the exact same situation I am. Our kids are the same ages, he dh is gone for the same amount of time. The only diff is the branches of military and that she's pregnant! It's so helpful having someone to chat with who really does know EXACTLY what you are going through! And we seem to have a ton in commen so we have loads to talk about. She's probably getting sick of me that's how much I IM her...LMAO.
Well I started smoking again. It was inevidablt (sorry sp) I knew I'd start again. of course I only smoke when the kids are in bed. NEVER AROUND THEM and NEVER when they are up and can see me. I'm almost out I need to go buy more. But I can't rationalize it to myself to get up and go to the store just for a pack of ciggerettes...LOL.
I'm in a really good mood today. And that is mostly due to Miss Karen sending me people!! I really appreciate all the well wishes and kind words!! It really really helps hearing people say positive things and it's such a nice surprise to come to you're blog and see all these wonderful comments!! Thank you all so much!!!
Today is a nice day for a change I might take the rugrats for a walk. I have that bet to win you know...LOL. It's really taking some getting used to this humidity. Arizona was so dry and it's so humid here it's like night and day.
Yesterday night was just full of happy surprises. Matt's still in the states doing training and the training doesn't start until tommorrow so we've been able to IM and whatnot well last night Matt IM's me and guess what....He had his webcam set up!!! Yea!! I got to see my guy!!! It was so wonderful to see his face and see his reactions to things I type and all that. It was just great! I also had to see myself on webcam for the first time and YIPES I hate that thing...LOL. I tried to make it face the desk but he insisted on me facing it towards me. I gotta say it's going to take some time to get used to being on cam like that...LOL. If I were to ever go on a tv show I'd be like that brady bunch kid and freezeup...lol.
I also think I made a new friend last ngiht. A girl here in town that is on a couple boards I am, IMed me to see how I was doing. We ended up talking for a while and we have SOO much in commen. It was really neat. Hopefully if weather permits we are going to be going for a walk tommorrow with out kiddies :)
I also have been talking to Robin alot and that has helped me out more then anything else. She is in almost the exact same situation I am. Our kids are the same ages, he dh is gone for the same amount of time. The only diff is the branches of military and that she's pregnant! It's so helpful having someone to chat with who really does know EXACTLY what you are going through! And we seem to have a ton in commen so we have loads to talk about. She's probably getting sick of me that's how much I IM her...LMAO.
Well I started smoking again. It was inevidablt (sorry sp) I knew I'd start again. of course I only smoke when the kids are in bed. NEVER AROUND THEM and NEVER when they are up and can see me. I'm almost out I need to go buy more. But I can't rationalize it to myself to get up and go to the store just for a pack of ciggerettes...LOL.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Well today was day number 1 of 240. Things went good today. I was fine until I talked to Matt on IM now I'm really bummed out :(
The kids were good today. It was not a good day for Zach's hands though...LOL First he got his finger slammed int he door then he slammed his hand in between the toliet and the lid...LMAO. Poor guy! But man can he scream!! Well nothing else is going on here. It's dullsville today. I worked out for 2 hours damnit I will win that bet!
The kids were good today. It was not a good day for Zach's hands though...LOL First he got his finger slammed int he door then he slammed his hand in between the toliet and the lid...LMAO. Poor guy! But man can he scream!! Well nothing else is going on here. It's dullsville today. I worked out for 2 hours damnit I will win that bet!
Well he's gone! I didn't even cry! I was upset for sure. But I guess I've just resigned myself to the fact that he has to go and that no amount of crying will change that. I'm sure as hell going to miss him though!
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Ok I'm updating...LOL. I'm sitting here with a YuengYing in my hand and cleaning out the storage closet..LOl. We cleaned out the outside one earlier and now it's safe to say that after 12 months Kath will need no baby clothes..lol. Mia will be so cute in all her new clothes. Once Matt leaves and the holidays are over I can get started on dressing her for her first 12 months..lol. Poor Kath and Kevin have no idea how much I'm going to spoil their little girl..lol. Now all I need is to find someone to spoil my kids and I'm all set..lol. I can't believe our microwave is broken it's so sad. Matt is calling his parents tonight and seeing if they can loan us the money for a new one. I know you said to wait Kath but I reallyjust can't wait I need my microwave!! I'm in a pretty good mood today still stressed. Matt leaves in 3 days so that sucks.
Tommorrow I have my very first deployment briefing. I've never been but most of the wives are going. So hopefully I can meet some people..lol
I really need to fix my blog it's so ugly and I hate the way the pictures made everything slide down. I'm such a blog dunce though I really wish I knew what I was doing.
Tommorrow I have my very first deployment briefing. I've never been but most of the wives are going. So hopefully I can meet some people..lol
I really need to fix my blog it's so ugly and I hate the way the pictures made everything slide down. I'm such a blog dunce though I really wish I knew what I was doing.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
I'm in a bad mood today. I'm so sick of people coming to me with their stupid damn problems and arrogant bitching but not even giving a crap when it comes to my problems. Gee my husband is leaving for 7 months next week I wonder why I'm sad I wonder why I'm cranky. But do any of my so called friends give a crap ... no. I am so sick of being there for other people and then it's like oh sorry when it's me that has a problem. Lately I have been alot more honest with people and alot more yeah wow what a great big problem you have. And if people don't like it then screw it. I can't be strong or supportive for anyone else but my kids and my husband right now. I just don't have it. I'm frustrated and it's not even this deployment that has me frustrated it's all this uncertinty surrounding everything. Matt's crosstraining right after and possibly switching branches and it's all just so overwhelming. Then knowing I have to be wholely responsible for ash's upbringing is really a tremendous pressure. I don't know if I did good with Zach I have no idea. I mean he's a 4 year old who's not yet potty trained I feel like somehow I did something wrong. Now to have to do it with Ash I feel like I might somehow screw it up. I don't feel capable to do it. But this is all just whiney bitching. My best friend doesn't even respond to my posts on the board so that should tell me somthing. Either she doesn't care or I just need to get over it.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Wow it's been a long long time since I last posted!! My in-laws just left. We threw Ash a mock 2nd bday. Matt will be in Iraq for her actual one so we did it early. Ash had a blast. The cake was cinderella and it was beautiful....
Ash obviously loved it!!
She made out like a bandit tons of presents! Everyone was sad around Matt though. They knew he was going to be leaving soon so everyone was just so bummed out. I finally lost it last night. We were joking around and I was play crying and then before I knew it I was crying for real. More like bawling to tell you the truth. I just cna't believe he's leaving again. he just came home! I'm going to miss him sooo much!
Ash obviously loved it!!
She made out like a bandit tons of presents! Everyone was sad around Matt though. They knew he was going to be leaving soon so everyone was just so bummed out. I finally lost it last night. We were joking around and I was play crying and then before I knew it I was crying for real. More like bawling to tell you the truth. I just cna't believe he's leaving again. he just came home! I'm going to miss him sooo much!
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