My life

just an update

2006-12-12T05:08:00.000-05:00

Not much has been going on here. Just the usual. Matt's on leave so it's nice to have him home everynight. Well tonight is the only night I can say that seeing as the people at his work cannot seem to operate without him and have called him in everynight. Tonight he turned his cell off and turned the lights off in the living room he said there was no way he was going in..LOL. Zach's sick though :( Poor little guy he spent the whole day wrapped up in a blanket with me :( :(
Friday we went over to Jen's for dinner with her, her dh, Melissa and Chuck. It was fun the kids all goofed around. It was all boys aside from Naomi who is only 10 months. So needless to say Ash was outnumbered..LOL. Course everywhere she went the boys followed...LOL> I think Matt and I are going to have our hands full..lol.
Melissa is signing her son up for Gymnastics in Jan so I think I'll join her and take Ash. And then Jen and I are enrolling the boys in Tae kwon do. It will be nights and Ash and Jen's son will be in the same class Zach will be a different one the classes are cheap and Jen and I get free self defense lessons which is cool..lol. So that plus Zach's speedstackers and with him starting soccer next year it should be a busy busy year. Odd to think this time next year I'll have two kids in school!!!
Well that's about it going on here. We're heading out to Tn this friday I'm pretty excited to see the in-laws. I can't really call them that anymore b/c they don't feel like in-laws they feel like family whose always been there. I hear all these horror stories from other people about there in-laws and there BIL's or SIL's and I really lucked out. I love my whole family! They all rock!! I keep in touch with my SIL but I'd be lying if I said it was constant. I need to keep emailing her I'm just so bad with email lately. I love her and I'd like to get to know her better. My BIL I'd really like to get to know. I don't know if it's the age difference or what but Matt doesn't seem to keep in touch with him as much as he should and hopefully with the new year we can change that. Matt should be promoted next year and hopefully we should be able to travel more and see all the family more I miss them!

Boredom

2006-11-30T11:21:00.000-05:00

I'm so tired. Matt's at a fundraiser and Ash is asleep. I need to clean but yea it's not happening right now..LOL. That little boys mom never did come by. I really hope she isn't just taking it lightly. The boy said he was being teased every day from that boy. It's only the 3rd grade!! It can't be good for him!! I talked to Zach's teacher and she said to try and find the boy's address (shouldn't be hard to do since I walked him home..lol) then give it to her. I already have the boys teachers name. And then if I see him again try and get the other boys name. She said she'd talk to the teacher and see if they can't determine which boy it is (that's if I can't find the addy or the name) And they will keep an eye on him. I wasn't sure how involved to get in fact I really don't want to get too involved it should be the mom who is involved. But I wanted to ask the teacher first to see what she thought. So hopefully this way the teacher will keep a better eye on him and keep the teasing from happening at least at school. Out of school there is nothing they can do. Where does a 3rd grader learn how to be bully?? You guessed it his parents. It's just an awful situation. And one I hope that Zach won't have to go through. As of right now Zach is liked by all the kids but this is Kindergarten. Zach does get his feelings hurt absolutely easily and I'm so afraid that he'll get picked on later.

Awww man!!

2006-11-28T15:39:00.000-05:00

I just realized that when I changed my skin I lost all of my comments :( :(

Wow time has flown

2006-11-28T14:54:00.000-05:00

My SIL just sent me her blog link and it inspired me to at least try and keep up with my own. It's been nearly a year since I posted though. I usually use myspace..lol. Today I did nothing. Literally nothing. I have a buttload to do but I feel like arse. I quit smoking and I feel tired and cranky and I'm coughing. I forgot how fun this stage of quitting was...LOL. Matt and I went to pick up Zach from school today. It's so much like a high school there. Not in the actually school but with all the parents standing in there little cliche's I fit in nowhere. I hate picking him up. I feel so out of place. Most of my friends don't have children or if they do they have them Ashlee's age so I don't know anyone there. And you can't just join up with another group they deflect outsiders. Sounds silly I know. But I've seen them do it. Even Matt remarked on how that happens. At any rate so I was standing with matt and Ash and Zach's class came out. He apparently has been doing really good in his journal. They have these little journals they have to write and draw in everyday and Zach has been just scribbling in his. Well the teachers told us during Parent-Teacher Conferences that he should be doing more in there and they explained what it is they expect out of him. So we sat him down and long story short he's not drawing pictures with a story to go withit!! I'm so proud of him!!! On the way home we were all talking Zach as ususal was up ahead running home (that boy is FAST) well the crossing guard all of the sudden said "BOYS CUT IT OUT" and 2 boys pass us arguing. One was taunting the other one. Well I look over and the little boy whose being teased was crying and so upset he couldn't ride. So I got down to his level and asked him if he was ok. He was in the 3rd grade. I asked him if he wanted me to walk him home and he said yes so Matt and the kids went on ahead and I walked this little boy home. He was crying most of the way. I managed to cheer him up before we got him but once he saw his mom he broke down again. He said his mom thinks everyone is nice to him at school and from what he had told me this boy was pretty much a regular bully to him. Pushing him off his bike and making fun of him in recess. I asked him how he handled it did he get upset and cry everytime. And he said yes I said well you can't do that. He said well my mom said it was natural to cry I told him it was but that he couldn't show that boy how much it was upsetting him or the boy would never stop. I told his mom where he lived and hopefully she'll come talk to me once he calms down to get the whole story about what the boy was saying on the way home. I also really hope that she will talk to the boys parents and make them aware of how there son is behaving.

2005-12-22T11:52:00.000-05:00

OK OK I guess I'll start updating.
Where to start. Charlie is HUGE now. He's super big doggie!! He's pretty good too. Still pees when he's nervous and scared but lol that's not to often. Unless someone new comes here and then it's like EVERYWHERE...lol
Zach and ash are doing good. I'm sick again. I'm always sick it seems like. I have a headcold :(
Matt's doing good I'm hoping he's home soon. He finally got his promotion fixed and we are waiting on backpay!! YAY!
It's almost Christmas YAY!! I can't wait!

2005-10-22T17:03:00.000-05:00

I'm such a bad blogger! I haven't kept this blog or my other blog up at all. This new puppy is really keeping me busy. He has SO many toys and I praise him when he uses them but he still managed to chew up Ash's Elmo pieces, Zach's flip flops and my Fave. black old navy flip flops. Yes they were cheapies but they don't sell them right now and I honestly wore those things everywhere so I was really bummed out! The kids and I have been sick so that really sucks I hate being sick :( Zach btw is now FULLY potty trained!! YAY for him!! He still needs a pull up at night but only b/c he's SUCH a deep sleeper and doesn't wake up to go. He is almost 5 so I was really really worried about him and I knew I was pestering him too much so of course once I decided I didn't care anymore and just to leave it alone that's when he was like ok since you don't care I'll go...LOL. I have NEVER been happier!! 1 diapered child down and 1 to go!

I've been trying hard to get this weight off and it's SO hard! I'm still having my problems (if I talk to you alot then you know what I mean) so I think that has alot to do with why it's not coming off. My MIL keeps telling me to go see an endocrinologist so I need to make an appt with my doc and have him send me to them. It's such a pain I mean I'm NOT that fat! I'm 5'3 and 145 that's not that bad. Last time I saw that doc he told me that I need to eat 800 cals a day and that if I kept gaining pretty soon I'd need gastric. Why kind of nutjob says that! I know I'm not happy with my weight but am I at a healthy weight yes I think so. a little above it yeah but I'm not like 200 pds.

Matt's gotten ALOT better at calling home! It was SUCH a source of stress for me. So I'm glad that's it's working itself out. I'm ready for him to hang up him AF uniform and put back on the Marines!!

OK I need to clean the house and worry about dinner. Mom is still here so I'm getting a MUCH needed break. I really want to go on vacation though. I need to just get away from all the stress here. Not the kids really they arn't that stressful at all. It's stressful people and I could really use a change of scenery..:)

2005-10-04T09:54:00.000-05:00

MY dog had to get put down yesterday this has been a majorly shitty week for me and then to top it off tommorrow is my bday.... great.

2005-09-27T13:02:00.000-05:00

I just got back from Jersey it was a nice visit matt and I got a few things figured out. This deployment is make or break for us. Either he gets his act together or I won't be here when he gets back. I'm not asking him to do anything abnormal or change anything all I'm saying is hey pick up a damn phone and talk to you're wive and kids every now and then. Really not a big deal. If it can't then I understand that but every other freaking spouse has to tell me oh I heard from so and so today it's like nice they can call and mine can't. GRRRR.

I've also decided that I'm sick of people that need me to come to them. I have this friend who just dissappeared on me I PMed her I IMed her I sent her myspace messages I mean what more could I do. She wasn't online so I'm not going to call and be like um why arn't you on? I'm sorry but if I'm putting in effort it HAS to go 2 ways. Well I see her and she's like yeah you can pick up a phone ya know. I was like WTF you're the one not answering anything online I'm sure as hell not going to track you down and say hey be my friend. If I write and email and IM then I'm fullfulling my end of the bargain. If you chose not to answer then let that be on you and say hey ya know what I didn't try either. I hate that crap. I really really hate that crap.

2005-09-14T09:47:00.000-05:00

OK I'm getting bad about updating..lol. I was doing good there for awhile. I want to change the pic on my layout. Melly how do I match up the size??
Not much is going on here. Just patiently awaiting Ophelia. I'm wondering around F'ville with Jaime the next couple days and getting Cliff's bday stuff :) THen on Sunday it's OFF TO NJ!!!! YEA!!!! I'm so so so so excited!!! I can't wait to see matt! I got a new tae bo dvd the other one was too easy. This one is better but still not what I'm looking for. There is one that's fatblasting so I'm going to try that one. Other then that not too much going on over here :)

2005-09-07T10:29:00.000-05:00

So I started Tae Bo. I figure that and my 2 miles walking a day and I should be in tip top shape by the time Matt gets home. I want him to get off the plane and think OMG that's MY wife..LOL. I only have Tae Bo basic and you have this side kick thingy that you do and you have to do it double time. That's the only thing that's really working. I think once I master that I should move on to the advanced workout. I'm not even breathing hard until the kicks start and that's at the end of the tape :( In some ways I'm in better shape then I thought but in others I'm not. My arms look flabby but I have really strong arms. I guess it's from carrying 2 kids all day...ROFL. I miss Matt!! The other day the kids got to talk to him on webcam and that was SOOO awesome! Zach was mystified adn Ash was like IT"S DADDEEEE..LOL. So cute!!

2005-09-02T14:08:00.000-05:00

So today was a good day. Mom was here so I got to sleep in!! YEA!!! I went to the commissary and I'm not kidding you people here the line was SO long that it took an hour and a half just to checkout!!! How crazy is that!!!! It was annoying for sure but I'm still in a good mood. I filled up the car b/c it was on E I was expecting a long line but nope no line at all :) Now I'm just waiting on Kath to get off work so we can go shopping. I need to get some new tarts and Zach's comfortor ripped so he needs a new one. We SO don't have the money for that but oh well such is life I suppose. Matt IMed last time and I guess eh kind've saved some guys life. No no war story or anything so dramatic. He's in NJ training they are basically sitting there twiddling their fingers. The training is for only 9 days yet they are there for like 35 days! They are sleeping in tents and etc. basically everyone is pissed off. Anyway back to my story....they I guess decided to give them something to do so they ran a course in the middle of the day. Well some guy makes it through the course and overheats. He's convulsing and not sweating and nearly passing out. SO while everyone else just stands there. Matt strips his gear off and dousing the guy with water keeps him awake and gives him water. The medic strolls over and this idiot had NO idea what to do. Matt had to prep the guys arm and show the idiot where the vein was. So the medic gets the needle in and then is like UM. I don't know how to stop the blood. DUR. So matt stops the blood and hooks up the line and the IV bag and sits with the guy until the EMT's get there. Awww my little hero. I mean no he didn't really save the guys life persay. But it still was a damn good thing he was there :) :)

2005-09-01T17:43:00.000-05:00

ok ok Sparks I'm updating..LOL
First and foremost Sandy I know you read my blog so if you are reading this then PLEASE let me know if you all are ok and if you got out in time. I'm worried sick!
Not much going on around here just WORRYING about Sandy!
What really never fails to amuse me is that once you're a Bush hater you are always a Bush hater and for some reason cannot get you're head out of you're own ass long enough to see that not everything is his fault. OMG NC is having a gas shortage. LETS BLAME BUSH. I'm so sick of everyone blaming Bush for everything. I happen to support our president! People make him out to be a Nazi or something. And people are SO damn uninformed!! I mean sure you can read an article and quote it but newsflash people. NEWS IS BIASED!!! People really think that just b/c it's written it must be true. It's SO irratating. Yeah I know I just misspelled that word. I'm just so sick of hearing his name and negative comments. Ok I'm off my soapbox now :)

2005-08-23T17:12:00.000-05:00

Howdy :) Today was a pretty good day :) Thanks for all the suggestions! I really appreciate it!
Today Nikki came by and dropped off some pilates video's for me. Flat abs here I come...LOL. Then Amanda stopped by with Nathanial. He is so damn cuddley!!!! I'm babisitting him tommorrow. Ash and him were so cute together! She keep rubbing his head and they were cuddling together it was adorable!!
I have my first spousal support meeting on Friday. OMG I'm so nervous!!! I don't know why but I am. Just stomach in knots nervous. A room full of people I don't know and have never met is just like OMG!! It's silly I know but I get so nervous and I feel like everyone is sitting there just thinking what a big dork I am. I"m about as socially ignorant as you can get....LOL

2005-08-22T20:24:00.000-05:00

First adn foremost THANK YOU MELLY!! I LOVE MY NEW BLOG SKIN!!! THANKS SO MUCH! Just so you all know....I have no idea what I'm doing when ti comes to blogging. So my friend Melly reskined the blog and made it look all purdy and now it's perfect! I LOVE IT!!
Not much is going on today. I played a rousing game of hungry hungry hippo with my son. My daughter tried to play too but she gave up quickly and went to go play with his cars...LOL.
Something really sad happened last night. My son normally goes to bed quite early. Well last night as I was heading to bed I hear really soft crying coming from my sons room. I opened his door and he was on his bed holding a picture book I made him from the last time matt was gone. It's filled of pictures of his daddy. He was looking at this one picture and just crying. Just sitting there by himself quietly crying. He said he didn't want to wake me up but he just was missing daddy. It was abou tthe saddest thing I've seen in a long time. How do you help a 4 year old understand deployments?? We talked with him before hand but he just didn't quite get it. My heart is breaking for him!

2005-08-22T19:10:00.000-05:00

my big guy :)

2005-08-22T19:09:00.000-05:00

my little girl :)

2005-08-22T10:26:00.000-05:00

Hey guys and gals :)
I'm in a really good mood today. And that is mostly due to Miss Karen sending me people!! I really appreciate all the well wishes and kind words!! It really really helps hearing people say positive things and it's such a nice surprise to come to you're blog and see all these wonderful comments!! Thank you all so much!!!
Today is a nice day for a change I might take the rugrats for a walk. I have that bet to win you know...LOL. It's really taking some getting used to this humidity. Arizona was so dry and it's so humid here it's like night and day.
Yesterday night was just full of happy surprises. Matt's still in the states doing training and the training doesn't start until tommorrow so we've been able to IM and whatnot well last night Matt IM's me and guess what....He had his webcam set up!!! Yea!! I got to see my guy!!! It was so wonderful to see his face and see his reactions to things I type and all that. It was just great! I also had to see myself on webcam for the first time and YIPES I hate that thing...LOL. I tried to make it face the desk but he insisted on me facing it towards me. I gotta say it's going to take some time to get used to being on cam like that...LOL. If I were to ever go on a tv show I'd be like that brady bunch kid and freezeup...lol.
I also think I made a new friend last ngiht. A girl here in town that is on a couple boards I am, IMed me to see how I was doing. We ended up talking for a while and we have SOO much in commen. It was really neat. Hopefully if weather permits we are going to be going for a walk tommorrow with out kiddies :)
I also have been talking to Robin alot and that has helped me out more then anything else. She is in almost the exact same situation I am. Our kids are the same ages, he dh is gone for the same amount of time. The only diff is the branches of military and that she's pregnant! It's so helpful having someone to chat with who really does know EXACTLY what you are going through! And we seem to have a ton in commen so we have loads to talk about. She's probably getting sick of me that's how much I IM her...LMAO.
Well I started smoking again. It was inevidablt (sorry sp) I knew I'd start again. of course I only smoke when the kids are in bed. NEVER AROUND THEM and NEVER when they are up and can see me. I'm almost out I need to go buy more. But I can't rationalize it to myself to get up and go to the store just for a pack of ciggerettes...LOL.

2005-08-19T20:18:00.000-05:00

Well today was day number 1 of 240. Things went good today. I was fine until I talked to Matt on IM now I'm really bummed out :(
The kids were good today. It was not a good day for Zach's hands though...LOL First he got his finger slammed int he door then he slammed his hand in between the toliet and the lid...LMAO. Poor guy! But man can he scream!! Well nothing else is going on here. It's dullsville today. I worked out for 2 hours damnit I will win that bet!

2005-08-19T06:35:00.000-05:00

Well he's gone! I didn't even cry! I was upset for sure. But I guess I've just resigned myself to the fact that he has to go and that no amount of crying will change that. I'm sure as hell going to miss him though!

2005-08-14T21:29:00.000-05:00

Ok I'm updating...LOL. I'm sitting here with a YuengYing in my hand and cleaning out the storage closet..LOl. We cleaned out the outside one earlier and now it's safe to say that after 12 months Kath will need no baby clothes..lol. Mia will be so cute in all her new clothes. Once Matt leaves and the holidays are over I can get started on dressing her for her first 12 months..lol. Poor Kath and Kevin have no idea how much I'm going to spoil their little girl..lol. Now all I need is to find someone to spoil my kids and I'm all set..lol. I can't believe our microwave is broken it's so sad. Matt is calling his parents tonight and seeing if they can loan us the money for a new one. I know you said to wait Kath but I reallyjust can't wait I need my microwave!! I'm in a pretty good mood today still stressed. Matt leaves in 3 days so that sucks.
Tommorrow I have my very first deployment briefing. I've never been but most of the wives are going. So hopefully I can meet some people..lol
I really need to fix my blog it's so ugly and I hate the way the pictures made everything slide down. I'm such a blog dunce though I really wish I knew what I was doing.

2005-08-10T11:30:00.000-05:00

I'm in a bad mood today. I'm so sick of people coming to me with their stupid damn problems and arrogant bitching but not even giving a crap when it comes to my problems. Gee my husband is leaving for 7 months next week I wonder why I'm sad I wonder why I'm cranky. But do any of my so called friends give a crap ... no. I am so sick of being there for other people and then it's like oh sorry when it's me that has a problem. Lately I have been alot more honest with people and alot more yeah wow what a great big problem you have. And if people don't like it then screw it. I can't be strong or supportive for anyone else but my kids and my husband right now. I just don't have it. I'm frustrated and it's not even this deployment that has me frustrated it's all this uncertinty surrounding everything. Matt's crosstraining right after and possibly switching branches and it's all just so overwhelming. Then knowing I have to be wholely responsible for ash's upbringing is really a tremendous pressure. I don't know if I did good with Zach I have no idea. I mean he's a 4 year old who's not yet potty trained I feel like somehow I did something wrong. Now to have to do it with Ash I feel like I might somehow screw it up. I don't feel capable to do it. But this is all just whiney bitching. My best friend doesn't even respond to my posts on the board so that should tell me somthing. Either she doesn't care or I just need to get over it.

2005-08-08T13:46:00.000-05:00

Wow it's been a long long time since I last posted!! My in-laws just left. We threw Ash a mock 2nd bday. Matt will be in Iraq for her actual one so we did it early. Ash had a blast. The cake was cinderella and it was beautiful....

Ash obviously loved it!!

She made out like a bandit tons of presents! Everyone was sad around Matt though. They knew he was going to be leaving soon so everyone was just so bummed out. I finally lost it last night. We were joking around and I was play crying and then before I knew it I was crying for real. More like bawling to tell you the truth. I just cna't believe he's leaving again. he just came home! I'm going to miss him sooo much!

Very sad news

2005-07-15T15:12:00.000-05:00

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news:

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the
entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast
infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He
was 71.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough,
and Jane Dough, who has one in the oven. He is also survived by his
elderly father, Pop Tart.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth, Hungry
Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and
Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with
turnovers. He was not considered a very smart "cookie", wasting much of his
dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a
crusty old man,was considered a roll model for millions.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Lori on AFA posted this...LOL.

2005-07-14T10:06:00.000-05:00

So life is boring over here. I've begun my battle of the bulge and it's not going so good but damnit it can be done. I will be back to my normal weight by the time Matt gets back home!! I hate it (how I look) so very very much. It's an obsession almost. I think about everything I put in my mouth :(.

2005-07-08T14:24:00.000-05:00

ho hum....have you ever had one of those days where everything felt awful and you were just stupendously unhappy? Well I'm having one of those months. I've been unhappy for awhile but lately I've bene more then that. I've been in this horrible black funk for a while and I'm sick of it. My weight is the biggest it's ever been minus children I don't even fit into my fat jeans. I'm working out alot and nothing seems to be helping. I've taking 3 pregnancy tests just to be sure and I'm not pregnant so I really don't know why I'm so damn big right now. I quit taking my BC which was really making me icky and I thought after I quit I'd lose some wieght but nope nothing. My boobs are HUGE!!! It's like most of the weight is going there and damnit this sucks. I've grown a whole cup size!! anymore weight gain and I will officially not leave the house until it's gone. I started taking a diet pill and it works wonderfully during a workout. I don't get tired as much as I normally do but it does make me lightheaded and my heart beats really fast. UGH somedays I just wish I wasn't me that I could take a break from me and let someone else be me for awhile!!!